Shot myself in the foot.

Some people seriously make me want to shoot myself in the foot. Literally. I mood has been downhill for a while and all I want to do is scream. I'm kinda sick of seeing some people. I wish it was last school year again. Or better yet, ninth grade. That was a wonderful grade for me. Life was happy.
On September 11, about a million people asked me what date it was. I find that extremely sad and pathetic. Sure, we were young and everything when that happened, but common, you don't ask what date it is on 9/11. That's just plain stupid. My irritation is driving me up a wall right now. I just want to quit everything ( including school ) but I know I can't. Blah. AND I have to find away to afford youth group. Because money is a necessity. But it's okay, I have a plan. Since I'm working at my mom's diner I'll just save 70% of my tips for the use of yg. Plus me and Rachel have our own fund raising plan for people like us, who can't pull five million dollars out of our butts. I'M SORRY WORLD, I DON'T HAVE TONS OF MONEY TO SPARE EVEN IF I KNOW IN ADVANCE. BUT THAT'S OKAY, SINCE I NOW KNOW I JUST WONT EAT SCHOOL LUNCH OR BUY ANYTHING FOR THE REST OF THIS SCHOOL YEAR. BUT I'LL SAVE EVERY DIME I OWN SINCE EVERYONE LIKES TO REMIND ME HOW POOR I AM AND HOW POOR PEOPLE FAIL AT LIFE. I'M SORRY THAT MY MOTHER CAN'T JUST GIVE ME MONEY WHEN I ASK. SORRY FOR BEING SAD, I'LL TRY TO BE HAPPY. SORRY THAT I'M YOUNG, AND YOUNG PEOPLE CAN'T DO ANYTHING. INCLUDING DRIVE. OH, AND I'M SORRY FOR WORKING LATE AND CLOSING UP THE DINER AND WANTING TO SLEEP IN THE MORNING. I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON. NOT LIKE I COME TO EVERY OTHER EVENT. AND I'M SORRY FOR MY POOR MUSICAL ABILITIES, OR LACK THERE OF. SORRY TEACHERS, FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ALL THE FREAKING HOURS OF HOMEWORK YOU GIVE ME EVERY NIGHT. I'LL JUST STOP SLEEPING. AND I'M SORRY FOR FEELING SORRY, BECAUSE I'M NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL GUILTY, BECAUSE I'M MUCH TOO SENSITIVE.
Now that that's out there, I feel better. Now that I've ranted a little, since I'm working on my optimistic-ness, I'll think of some positives.
- I have over a 100% in english. I've never believed I was good at English, but all my English teachers claimed this is true and I'm almost starting to believe this. Maybe being a book nerd has paid off.
-I make money. Not much at all, but it will add up eventually if I spend wisely. I'm buying a safe and locking some piggy banks in it. lol.
-every second I'm closer to summer vacation. That's right, I'm looking forward to summer and it's not even winter yet. School stress will be gone in the summer, even if youth group stress will still be there.
-Paramount Cafe is coming. I look forward to this :) I absolutely love paramount cafes.

yeah. That's all the optimism for now.
I'm watching Cast Away for the first time. Dude, I'm so sad over a freaking volleyball person. I should be sleeping though but I wanted to post and finish the movie. I was going into movie with draw. It happens sometimes.