I'm full of jitters

I love and hate at the same time when I'm full of anxiety, happiness, excitement and an unnatural amount of energy at the same time. Which is basically how I've felt since last weekend. I have all this energy bundled inside of me, I literally don't even know what to do with it or how to express it ( I tell you what though--I know I don't want to use it on school, which really just makes my already horrid case of senioritis even worse :P). I think my super-energetic powers came from going to the retreat, which was only like 2 days, but so much happened it felt like a week, and by the end I really wish it were a week. I was actually pretty pleased that I had to work the friday of the retreat just because it was 2-6, and I didn't imagine it would be too busy. It was only four hours, but I felt so tired afterwords that it might as well have been eight.
The last 10 mins of my shift went soooo slow because I just really was way too excited for the retreat that I couldn't even concentrate on what the customers were ordering! By the time Brendon arrived to pick me up I just wanted to jump out of my skin and into his car, but I had to wait for someone else to show up for their shift because I really didn't want to leave Emily and Megan alone. (By this time we had more than a healthy stream of customers.) When I finally arrived at Roxbury ( I FREAKING LOVE ROXBURY, BTW ;] ) I saw Will, Heaven, Ster, Ryan, Kelly and Andy all watching The knowing (weird movie...just, weird.) . What kind of sucked was that this year, we hardly had that many youth there. (especially compared to last year, or even the year before when we had a good amount of people)--but basically our youth group fails at life, so I almost expected it. It really sucks because over half the time, I feel like I'm the only one who really tries to go to events and such (and NOT because I live across the street--it's because I'm awesome :] ) but yeah--on a totally random note: I officially decided on HCC next year, which means I can be a youth leader and I won't have to leave quite yet :D .
But anyway, we watched the movie, which wasn't as good as it should have been, but overall was an okay movie. Afterwords we divided into teams, which were our teams for the weekend. Ryan and Kelly were on my team, and everyone else was on the other. Poor kelly---I think the movie kind of scared her, and running around in the dark didn't help all too much. I don't think I was like that when I was her age though, because I've always loved creepy movies lol. But yeah, the other team won that challenge and I was more then ready for bed. XD
That night was a seriously amazing night. Sterlyn, Heaven and I slept together on the big double bed and of course, a room full of girls are not going to quietly go to bed. I'm pretty sure --actually I know that Kellys family heard us talking, ( a fact that was confirmed on sunday morning) which only increased my feared suspicion that the band heard us, lol. ( I don't think I mentioned earlier that Stillglow stayed with us the whole weekend. And here I am about to go into a tangent : When my fellow praise band mates --or ex band mates? I don't really think we're a band anymore--and I found out that there was going to be a band there instead of us playing, we honestly weren't all that pleased. Psh--I soon got over that just because knowing that I didn't have a prepare anything for the retreat made it all so much less stressful. But I'm not sure my other bandmates were at all happy. In the end, I'm so glad that stillglow came because they were pretty cool dudes. ANYWAY.) I'm way too lazy to go into all the details of the weekend, that would take foreverrr. But basically it involved a lot of running (way too much if you ask me, but compared to what we all did 2 years ago it wasn't so bad. Two years ago I swear I lost 10 lbs that weekend aha) and in the end my team won ( Heaven switched to our team towards the end because of issues on the other team that I wont get into right now or ever) which was pretty cool. There also was a lot of tears over the retreat--that's what happens when girls are together. Luckily I wasn't involved, aha--I swear God made me like half man. Not really~ that'd be nasty :P (and man do I suck at comforting people. At least I feel like I do.) and I only cried once and it was like for 3 minutes so that's really good for me lol. And it was a happy sort of cry.
I really liked the band a lot. It was pretty cool getting to meet Chris, Dan and Hunter. I liked their sound and how they worked with each song. There was one song in particular though--I think they said it was a cover from another band?--It was seriously so beautiful that I feel so cheesy just talking about how much I loved it. It made me cry. The chorus went, "My God, I am not but you are." and I'm pretty sure I was singing that song until like, yesterday.
Overall the message I got wasn't exactly what Dave was preaching, but more of a why is God putting me into the lives of those around me? For that week and that weekend I happened to just show up whenever someone was in need for someone or something and even though I felt like I sucked at it I hope I'm getting better, :P

Either way, I still have the jitters. I was kind of hoping that typing a lot would let it all out. Oh wells.

Wow. Aha.

I just think it's highly amusing how that last time I posted was a year ago. It's amazing how much things can change in a year. Anywho, I'm just really bored. It's super amazing weather outside and I'm wasting my day indoors. But even if I did go outside, I'd just be standing around. Days like these are when I wish I had a car the most. I'd definitely just drive to someones house and chill there, it being more fun than my lame house. Our tv isn't working and with Luz over, and me not having any energy whatsoever, the only way I am currently entertaining her by popping in DVD's ( which is hard to do, seeing as we don't have many kid friendly dvds ) and I'm running out of kids movies I started putting in anime ( which isn't really kid friendly but it is cartoon lol ) she's only two so she hardly understands it anyway XD

gaaahhh. So bored. I need to meet someone new.