Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

          I'm dying. At least I feel like I am. I've been sick for the past eternity and I'm so ...well, sick of it. It all began with my eye. My eyelid strangely enough was really hurting. It even hurt to just blink. So I woke up the next day to discover that my entire right eyelid had become horribly and hideously swollen. Eventually my mother had to take me to the ER, which turns out I either had an allergic reaction so something or an infection of some sort (though I think it was the allergic reaction, because now I can't seem to wear makeup without my eyelids puffing up slightly...wonderful.) Two days later we had to rush to the hospital in Baltimore---not for myself but for my sister---and I was feeling sniffly but not too bad. A week later I wake up with horrible  pain in my right ear, and I can't hear out of it. Keep in mind that I have no health insurance, so it wasn't like I could be all, "Oh! I'll just go to the doctor and he can fix me!" Instead I did something and I'm not sure if it was stupid or if I screwed myself over but I tried various self medication methods...Well though it did slightly get better, here I am almost two weeks later and I still have a difficult time hearing people. Oh—one of those self medication methods included putting garlic juice in the ear. WHAT. THE. EFF. WAS. I. THINKING. That shit burn like yell. I'm sorry but there is seriously no nice way of saying that. If anyone out there is reading this, and you have an ear infection, do not I repeat DO NOT put that crap in your ear hole unless to hate yourself and love pain. Even then, it's still a horrible idea.
          Now I have either a chest infection or a really bad cold. Or both---who knows. Fact of the matter is, I can't not cough up my lung every few minutes. Since I already missed two days of classes I really shouldn't miss anymore because I'm so far behind. I was hoping to get straight A's this semester but that idea seems to be fading far far away...So basically I've been sick for the past 3 weeks. Actually longer, because I had a cold before I went to the ER for my eye. Ugh.
          School this semester is probably the most interesting semester of my college life by far. I...I have friends lol. Not to say I didn't have friends before, that's completely untrue. But what's interesting is that I have friends who are all for the most part are friends with one another, and hang out with each other around campus. For the past two years I'd see and eat lunch with a friend or two, or talk or hangout with them but never with groups at a time. I'm kind of loving it, but it's totally not something I'm used to. I guess I've grown accustomed to being a loner---which is something I think any college student has to be able to handle (being alone that is.) I remember back maybe 4 years ago, I HATED being alone. Absolutely hated it. I always felt weird and awkward when I had to go somewhere by myself. What forced me out of that mindset was either my first or second Creation, when I realized that I seriously could not depend of someone else in order to go or do anything. Sianna and Rachel kept going off by themselves or not wanting to go where I wanted, and it was impossible to truly be satisfied. That same summer, Melanie started dating Eric and being the third wheel was not even slightly fun. That was the summer I really learned to deal with it, and now I like my alone time. But now at school since I have a hangout spot, I feel like I have to readjust myself back into the society of being social. Which I suck at, haha.
          Speaking of being social---boys. Such a dumb species of human, no? I guess I shouldn't lump them all together but...I suppose I have yet to have a fond experience to dwell upon. But I simply refuse to get into a funk. Right before Roxbury I was deep in one, and after the 11 days of being there I was truly transformed. I felt as though God was telling me to have faith and to let go of all my bitterness. Which I didn't even realize until then that I had so much of. Now I'm boarder line into that funk again but I don't ever want to go back. I do eventually want a relationship...but there are some things I won't compromise. And though I do feel insecure about my looks at times like most human beings, I always feel like that's not the main problem. I sometimes feel as though my personality isn't the standard for whatever a guy wants. Sometimes it sucks but...most of the time I wonder what their problem is because I'd like to believe I'm awesome haha. Ahh, but  that's enough about the mushy deep stuff about my feelings. Too personal.
          I should probably get glasses or something. It's almost halfway through the semester and I've gone without glasses or contacts. The only contact I had was lost at Creation and since I lack health insurance and money I haven't been able to get new ones. It really sucks because I can't ever see the board. Like, at all. I've been able to print out the power point slides so I can have them while the professor goes over them but if he or she writes something on the board I'm usually squinting or terrible screwed. It's usually the latter.
         Well, I guess that's all for now. It took me two hours to even type all this out because I kept getting interrupted or had to stop and hold my nephew. Hopefully my next update wont be in 2013. It seems like ever year I update my blogs less and less. 2008 I was quite the ranter.